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What to expect when dating a blind woman… Men have always said that women are a pain when it comes to getting ready for a night out, so imagine the struggle the partner of a blind girl has to face on a daily basis. If you’re not sure, I’ll give you a little list 😉
What To Expect When Dating A Blind Woman
Hair:
Girl: Is my hair straight? it doesn’t seem to be lying right?
Partner: There’s a flicky out bit on one side…
Girl: Flicky out bit? Where? And what side?
Partner: The right, no, I mean the left.
Girl, attempting to find said sticky out bit: A bit further back. Noo a bit further than that… Yep there!
Make Up:
Girl: How does my make up look?
Partner: Yeah it looks fine…
Girl: Fine? You mean I’ve spent all this time putting my make up on and I look fine?
Partner: Umm I mean you look beautiful!
Girl: Thanks, but that isn’t really what I’m looking for; is my make up smudged?
Partner: No it’s fine. Oh wait, actually the green seems a bit thicker on this eye…
Girl: You mean my eye liner? Which one?
Partner: Just a little bit on the right eye, if you just put it a bit more on the other eye in the same place it’ll be done.
Clothes:
Girl: OK so I want to wear a dress, but I think it’s a bit cold.
Partner: Why don’t you just wear a top and trousers if it’s cold?
Girl: Because I live and die in jeans and a top, I want to wear something nice for a change!
Partner: OK, what about the black one?
Girl: Which black one? I have loads of black dresses…
Partner: The one with the longer sleeves, that way you’ll be warmer…
Girl: Oh, I always wear that one! Plus I’m fat at the moment, so I don’t want my rolls showing! *Partner* How many times have I told you, you aren’t fat!
Girl: If I’m not fat, then what’s this? (Grabbing a roll of fat).
Partner: (Ignoring her) What about this one?
Girl: Ooh yeah, I haven’t worn that one in a long time! Good choice!
Shoes:
Girl: So which shoes do you think will go with my dress? (Holding out two different pairs of shoes)
Partner: Umm, they both go, it’s up to you love
Girl: Yeah I know that! That’s why I picked them out, What ones do you think I should wear?
Partner: The sparkly black ones.
Jewellery:
Girl: Shall I wear my silver or black earrings?
Partner: Black, they are pretty.
Girl: Don’t you think I’m wearing too much black?
Partner: Go with the silver ones then…
Girl: Yeah I suppose, that makes sense!
Bag:
Girl: I think i’ll wear a different bag today…
Partner: Why don’t you use the one you wear all the time?
Girl: Well I suppose I could, but that’s black too, and I thought I should match my earrings… (Thinking deeply)
Partner: (Trying not to lose the will to live) Yeah sure, go with the silver bag then…
Nails:
Girl: Oh, can you paint my nails for me please? I haven’t had my nails painted in ages!
Partner: Do I have to? I’ve just spent ages picking out your entire outfit…
Girl: Oh great, thanks, just because you helped to pick out my outfit, i’m not allowed to have my nails done? I’ll remember to cash in my token next time! (Girl sulks)
Partner: Fine, OK. I’ll paint them!
Girl: Thank you!!! You know how much I love you right?? (Tries being mushy, making kissing noises) Come here then, let me give you a kiss!
Partner: Can I not just paint your nails?
Girl: (Giving him THE LOOK)
Partner: (Gives her a chasing kiss, and heads towards the nail varnish drawer) OK, what colour do you want?
Girl: You choose…
So gentlemen, next time you complain about your girlfriend/partner/wife taking so long to get ready, just be thankful you are not having to help her pick every thing out!
***Disclaimer, this is a tongue in cheek post, generally women have got the entire outfit and make up already planned, although they might ask you to check their hair or make up, it’s highly unlikely anyone would be asked all of these questions in the same day! Or maybe that’s just me? 😉
***DisclaimerII Not every Visually impaired or blind girl is into any of the above, likewise they may love bags and nothing else.
***DisclaimerIII I know I was being extremely stereotypical, but i did it for the convenience of this post. Also, I do not discriminate against a persons’ sexuality or gender.
Much love, Sassy x
hahaha! This is brilliant….I never thought of it like this. My fella has it so easy….I will point him this way to read this when he complains about me taking too long to get ready 🙂 x
Hey Kim,
Haha yes definitely, show your fella that he’s got an easy life in comparison to Grant! 😉
Thanks for the comment lovely! xxx
I’ve just read your blog for the first time (not just this article, a few of them) as I noticed your site detailed on a post with myrandommusings.co.uk. I just wanted to say I’ve really enjoyed reading. You’ve really made me smile today and I’m having a stressful one, so thank-you! I’ll definitely be back again!
Janet
Hey Janet!
Thanks so much for your lovely comment and having a read around my blog! I need to go and check yours out now!
Thank you again, I look forward to getting to know you better! 🙂 xxx
This is so funny! I love the style you’ve written it in and the humour you’ve found in what could be a really frustrating situation for you, having to rely on someone else to tell you these things. Your partner sounds soooo lovely. It’s really got me thinking about getting ready without being able to check all these things myself. Thanks so much for linking up with the #bigpinklink again. I’m really enjoying reading all your posts and learning more about you.
Hey,
Thank you for such lovely comments! Hope I have a good sense of humour 😉 My parents have always enjoyed laughing with, and at me! 😉
And so does Gary!
He is a gem! I’m lucky to have him!
Thanks so much for having me, i’m loving linking up and reading so many fantastic posts! xxx
LOL this is hilarious and I can just picture the scene now! Don’t you just hate it when you spend time and effort to look nice and they say you look “fine”. So annoying! Thanks for giving me a laugh this morning. #BloggerClubUk
Hey Fiona!
Thanks so much for the comment! I’m glad it gave you a laugh!
Yep, men are really good at one syllabal words 😉
Nice to meet you! I need to check out your page! 🙂 xxx
So funny! I’d never thought of this before! Thanks for sharing 🙂 #anythinggoes
Hey Laura 🙂
Thanks for the lovely comment! I shall pop over to your blog later and share the love! 🙂 xxx
Haha! Brilliant positive style again. I had never thought of this either. It’s a tough life, being a man 😉 Thanks for making me smile
Hey Danielle!
Thanks so much! Haha I know, poor men ehh! Glad it gave you a smile!
Thanks for the lovely comments xxx
Brilliant post! Have to admit I never thought of it like that. Gosh, don’t we men have it HARD.
FYI, “fine” is a male word for YESITSGREATCANWEJUSTGETONWITHITALREADY. I’ve let you into a little secret there. 😉
Hey!
Thanks so much for the comment! Haha, I prefer to have more of a conversation with a male, not just a few grunts, and a fine 😉
Loved your spin on this 🙂 xxx
This post definitely gave me a giggle. I can imagine you doing all of those things at once to Gary just to annoy him. 😀 xxx
Hey,
Oh i’m sure I have, and on more than one occasion too 😉 I’m sure he secretly loves helping me pick out clothes, jewellery and make up 😉
Hugs, xxx
This did make me chuckle, I would never have thought about it unless you has written this post. You are always so positive with your posts. I have given up asking my OH how I look!!! Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week x
Hey,
Thank you, i’m glad you enjoyed it!
Haha poor you! I would just stand in front of him until he said something other than yeah fine 😉
Thanks for having me 🙂 xxx
This made me giggle I love the banter between the two of you! Us girls always have a million questions when planning an outfit! Xx
Hey Nadine,
Thank you for the comment!
Haha thanks, I suppose we have to have banter, otherwise he will be grey by the time he is 25 😉 xxx
Hahaha I take so much time to be ready too!
Especially the make up and my boyfriend is really really patient and gentle thanks god 😀
I’m so glad I’m not the only one! 😂 patience of a saint with a lot of sarcasm thrown in for good measure, that’s Grant for you! 😂 xxx