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Today I cried.
You may have seen me on social media laughing about the sass and abuse I’ve been receiving on a few of my TikTok videos. I’ve said for months. That I have tough skin and comments don’t phase me.
But this time it has. And not because I’ve received threats of violence or assault but from the people responding telling me I should be grateful for unsolicited advice or interference from well-meaning members of the public.
The video itself was a joke but as more and more comments came flooding in on how I as a disabled person should be polite or appreciative of my “saviour” it started to play with my emotions of how disabled people are rarely seen and never heard when we share our narrative to the world.
To give context, TikTok has a very short character limit and unless you want to write 35 replies, you have to condense your responses. When I’m being sassy and cheeky, those character limits are easy. But when you’re trying to explain to the comments in a meaningful way, I don’t think the person receiving it, quite grasps the poignancy of the conversation.
Disability activism and burnout
I don’t blame the short attention span of our society these days because social media has created a vacuum that if you can’t tell your story in 60 seconds or less, people don’t want to know.
Every time I’ve had controversial comments or responses I generally encourage it because my lived experience is MINE and I don’t speak for the entire blind or disabled community, however as my platform grows I’m aware that if these same people are consuming my content, and I may be the only blind person they have come across, its important to expose blind people as the multifaceted humans that we are: independent, intelligent, funny, and completely capable o completing everyday tasks; we can cook, clean, get ourselves dressed and use a mobile phone.
In some regards maybe I’ve placed a level of responsibility on myself to educate as well as entertain.
But by in large, every time I have addressed the common questions or queries especially if it’s within an educational context where I’m not being deliberately funny, these videos and views plummet.
I enjoy educating, it’s not just my passion; it’s my job. Yet every time I try to connect with my audience on a level that requires actual attention, I get ignored or dismissed.
I’ve been publicly educating online since 2015, and although I’m proud of my efforts in a personal and professional capacity I can’t help thinking that all I’m doing is shouting into the void.
The people that watch/ listen/ resonate with my educational content are the people that are living in this grey area of being but not being listened to. Disability activism feels like a never-ending echo chamber; the people that understand what it’s like to be approached, touched, grabbed, or quizzed without being asked first, are the people that live this life every day.
It’s exhausting to tell people day after day: not to touch or interact with my guide dog, that I don’t need dragging across the road by my arm or cane, that I can live a happy and independent life being blind, and that if I required help; I’d actually ask for it. What are your thoughts on disability activism?
I’m so sorry that you have that awful feeling of shouting into the wind, where no one hears your words. I hear them and find them illuminating, insightful, and instructive. I’m sighted and am writing a series of novels where the main characters are a young woman who loses her vision on her honeymoon and the guide dog who comes into her life. I’m donating half of the proceeds from book sales to the Foundation for Blind Children. The focus of these books is to shine a light on the capability of the visually impaired and the isolation often experienced within the sighted community. I’ve learned a lot from your column. Thank you. Barbara Hinske (author of Guiding Emily)
Peoples views about disability are very Snotty Nosed .do not see the every day effects .i am disabled have m.e .long list health issues ibs.migraines list goes on, i take part in a lot lot Research .,my blog.http;//mark-kent.webs.com twitter.supersnopper MARK
I’m so sorry your having a rough time. I feel burn out too-as a disability educator.